Dating Files #21

Sometimes having to wade through hit or miss emails on a dating site is totally worth it:

Hello, how are you? You are a very gorgeous women. Im definitely attracted to you and I am interested in experiencing a conversation with you. . I am a musician, I write, sing, play bass and guitar to create new dimensions of metal and rock. I am a hair artist and a cosmetologist so I can provide services for you in all categories of beautification. I’m actually not straight, I’m gay… Lol No, I’m joking, I am straight, I can enjoyably experience your beauty and desire to know you beyond your physical beauty. If your enticed, message me. My name is ——- —. If you would like to converse by phone, call or text me at — — —-. I am looking forward to your response

LOLZ

Dating Files #20

One from the files. Last year I went on vacation and (naturally) started texting with a cute boy while away. I met him on OKC (where else) and we’d started chatting. His profile had a picture of him walking away from the camera, and when I asked him why he didn’t have a picture of his face he told me he’d experienced an unfortunate ‘stalking incident’.

Mmm ok. Weird, but not out of the realm of possibility. He texted me a couple photos and he seemed normal (looking) so I went with it.

We started making plans to meet up when I got back into town. I was excited- this guy was cute, liked talking to me, and was eager to meet in person. What could go wrong?

For SOME reason I decided to Google him before we met up. All I had was his first name and his phone number. So, naturally, I found out:

  • His real name
  • Where he worked
  • Where he lived
  • His wife’s name
  • His wife’s email address
  • His son’s name
  • His facebook profile

Of course he was too good to be true! Why would I have expected differently? This is internet dating, after all!

There was a 1% chance that maybe he was divorced or separated, so I tested out my findings the next time we spoke.

Me: Hey, have you ever been married? Or do you have any kids?
Him: [Suspiciously long silence] No, you?

………..

Dating Files #19

I don’t get inundated with emails from OKC guys, but I get my fair share. Most of them tend to be along the lines of the following:

they say time reveal all and heal all wounds so i wounder what a life time would reveal with you…how you doing

I can’t help but read this in the voice of Joey Tribbiani.

Dating Files #18

The toymaker and I met up for dinner and drinks. He was cute in an artsy, beardy way. I found myself having to answer a few work emails during the date which is pretty much the worst– I hate when people answer their phones or text during dates or outings. I kept apologizing and he told me that if I didn’t stop saying ‘sorry’, he would kiss me to shut me up. Needless to say, I was getting a much better vibe from him than I’d gotten from the Professor.

We wrapped up dinner and headed out to get a drink. He grabbed my hand along the way and kissed me on the street corner. After drinks we made our way to Boston Common and made out on a park bench, huddling close against the cold.

He texted me on my way home to tell me what a good time he had and that he would like to see me again. I followed his Instagram account and he followed me back — flirting in the age of social media. We set up a date for the next week.

So of course instead of seeing him again, I found myself texting him earlier this week asking that age old question:

‘Do you just want to be Instagram friends or are you interested in me?’
His answer: ‘Don’t know right now.’

That doesn’t even merit a response. So much for this particular cute bearded artist. Dating. It’s not easy.