Dating Files #3

This is a mini-epic of a post. Settle in.

I spent yesterday wandering around Somerville Open Studios. I’d wanted to check out the Artisan’s Asylum which promised robots. I mean, who wouldn’t want to hang out with robots?? Plus it was a gorgeous spring day in the city and I wanted to get the heck out of Brookline.

In a random turn of events, I ended up spending most of my day with my most recent ex {does he count as an ‘ex’ if we barely dated for 3 months? Whatever, yes} … I hadn’t talked to him since we broke up but he called me a few days before and for some reason I agreed to get coffee with him. That somehow turned into us getting lunch and spending several hours looking at art together.

OK yes. It was a little weird. In all honesty I am still not really sure how I feel about the whole situation. I had really strong feelings for this guy and the way he treated me was very douchebag-esque. It hasn’t been a good month or two for me on the personal side. I’m still upset and angry about certain things that happened. On the other hand, I had a lot of fun with him and we are interested in a lot of the same things. Even given my conflicted feelings towards him, I still enjoyed hanging out with him yesterday. It wasn’t the same as before, of course. I feel like I (have to) have my guard up around him.

So, are we friends? I don’t know. I’ve never been friends with an ex. Do I still want this guy in my life? Also, not sure. Many of my friends have been urging me to just cut all communication with him, and maybe I should. But maybe things happen for a reason and I just don’t know what that reason is right now. Clearly, I’m still confused. That’s OK. It’s OK to be confused. I am allowed to work through these feelings.

After we parted ways I headed over to get dinner in Davis Square with friends and their cutie-pie 2 year old. While catching up and stuffing ourselves silly with sushi, I regaled them with tales from the tragi-comedy that is my current dating life: The Carpenter {nice, talented, but no attraction on my part} … 26 Year Old Graffiti Artist {cute, ‘wild’, but a total flake} … Tattooed Chef {such a tough schedule} … Software Engineer {I think he has Asperger’s}

A random guy had come in and was waiting near our table for his take-out sushi order. At one point, as I was describing my ridiculous series of exchanges with Software Engineer {sample: “feel free to call or text me anytime. Except for when I’m driving. Or working. Or…”} he butted in and asked if SE’s name was Jonathan by any chance, since it sounded like I was describing his brother. I laughed and said no, and we bantered briefly. I continued to chat with my friends about dating, pretty frankly. {Example: Guys, if a girl texts you and says she’s tipsy, that is an INVITATION TO CHAT!!! Don’t just tell her you had cheese and bread for dinner and then cut off all communications.}

Finally sushi guy’s order came. As he was leaving he broke into our conversation yet again to tell me that I sounded “fantastic” and that if I were 7 years older, he would ask me out himself. I was pretty much taken by surprise {um, dude was totally eavesdropping on me say what?}, so I didn’t do much beyond laugh and thank him, and then he took off. I will say though, he wasn’t that much older than me– maybe mid 30s? So I’m not really sure how young he thought I was. Either way, it was a great compliment from a stranger. Yes, as I think back over what I was saying about the dating gallery, I’m slightly embarrassed {the phrase “he’s just a distraction” comes to mind… also, “I’m keeping him on the back burner” … “I don’t have a type. I just want someone cute to make out with”… and “he hasn’t owned or watched TV in 10 years– what on EARTH are we going to talk about?!”…}. Haha.

But there was an example of me being me, and someone responding to it. I have to hope that at some point I will eventually find a super awesome hot guy who can actually talk about his feelings who thinks I’m awesome as well, without any need for compromise or changes or tears on either side.

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3 thoughts on “Dating Files #3

  1. Thanks for sharing. I think you need to start a dating tips for guys, since your tips (I imagine) will be super effective.

    Btw, I think I will be using the “cheese/bread” line whenever I want a conversation to get awkward. Example: “what do you think about the new policy put in, etc, etc?” “I had cheese and bread for dinner”.

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