Happy Holidays! Once again I’m entering this holiday season trying to ignore all the engagement/pregnancy/puppy/happiness going on around me as best I can. I’ve decided to take a break from my online dating escapades for a while, after a particularly disappointing outcome with the last guy.
Why is dating so complicated? And why is the progression from meeting to dating to feelings so hard? If you don’t eventually want a relationship but you don’t want a casual hookup, then it is IRRESPONSIBLE to portray yourself as emotionally mature and available, and you don’t belong on a dating site.
OK enough about that. Time to finish out the year focusing on myself and what makes me happy. For right now that means catching up with friends, my fake masking tape fireplace, Doctor Who episodes, and getting back to the gym.
Dating sucks. Yup. That’s pretty much it.
I’ve been listening to this song, by Ingrid Michaelson, quite a bit lately. I’d like to be OK.
I’m at a conference in DC this week, and during a moment of downtime realized that it’s been almost a month since I checked in here. So yeah. Hello.
There are some topics that have been kicking around my head lately… who knows if I will write more on any of these topics, but here’s what I’ve been thinking about:
-Dating and how it sucks.
-Why we crave honesty when we don’t get it, yet reject it when we do.
-How to maintain a friendship when someone repeatedly doesn’t return your phone calls but manages to find time to post on various social media sites.
-If Facebook is making us all self-absorbed unhappy people, constantly striving to present an image of success and positivity to the world.
-How to ask for emotional support without sounding whiny.
-How to be vulnerable and not have it backfire on you.
-How to come to terms with not always being in control.
-How to be happy.
-If this blog is the right place to discuss any of this.
I’ve written before about how, for the past year, I’ve been seeing a nutritionist weekly. However, when I moved to a new apartment in the beginning of September my nutritionist and I decided to take a break.
This is not a bad thing! But we decided that– what with my crazy schedule, along with where I was with my eating routine, I didn’t need to keep seeing her every week. So I took a month and a half off and went back to see her last night for the first time since the end of August.
The bad: Only down 1 lb since our last meeting. BUT I have less than 10 lbs to go (the last 10 lbs are the hardest for sure), and I am super psyched to have not GAINED anything.
The good: Although there wasn’t much movement on the weight front, I managed to decrease both my BMI and my body fat percentage! I am only 0.3 away from being in the ‘normal’ BMI range. Last year I was literally off the charts. And now I’m in the ‘average’ body fat percentage range.
So all in all, it was a pretty good check in! I am excited to have made it to this next stage of my lifestyle journey– no more food tracking, no more weekly meetings. There is still some work to be done. I need to get back into the gym, for starters! But it is empowering to see that I can live my life and not gain back the weight I worked so hard to lose. When I first started this journey 1+ yrs ago, I told myself that this was going to be a total lifestyle change. And it has been, and is.
Greetings from Minneapolis! I’m here all week for a work conference. This is my first time in the mid-west and the biggest takeaway I have so far is:
Everyone is so NICE.
I mean, for real. It’s … kind of weird. I don’t really know how to react. I feel very East Coast jaded. But it’s refreshing! I’m looking forward to a great week of conversations, meeting new people, talking about cool things, and everything/anything tech related.
I think I hit publish on my last post too soon. Apparently YP didn’t like my rejecting him.
This is one of many reasons why I really, really don’t like online dating.
*Edit: I had a screenshot of our conversation up, but decided to take it down. If you REALLY MUST KNOW what he wrote to me just let me know.
“YP” messaged me early in the year. His email stood out because he seemed to genuinely want to get to know me as a friend first, and then see if we might be (romantically) compatible later on. It is not the easiest thing in the world to make new friends at this point in my life, so I started emailing with him.
YP pulled a Fade on me. I last heard from him in February of this year. Flash forward to a few days ago, when he popped up out of the blue. Surprise, surprise.
He claimed that he got sick of the site so he never got back to me. Fair enough, except for the fact that OKC allows me to see when other users are active. So — false.
I didn’t bother to respond. Apparently one day of no response was much too long for him because I just got another email tonight: “Soooo???”
My response: “No thank you.”
Sometimes you just have to be straight with these dudes.
True story. This email is completely unedited. From “twofriends4fun”. At least they were polite…?
“Hi there…so this is totally out of the blue and I really hope I don’t offend you…we are two friends …one is 29 named A and other 34 of whom you see the pix named J…AJ recently single..he is mixed but tall dark handsome and a very good lover haha…J is a hottie as you can see…those may or nay not be our regular names haha but I hope you understand we wanna be discreet…we came to the realization that we are two sexual people and wanted to share some experiences…we’ve wanted to do a threesome with a woman for a while and are finally putting it out there..you are so pretty so I couldnt resist…we are just a normal fun couple of guys looking for a friend and maybe some good times together
I hope I didn’t offend you…last thing we want is to make online dating an awful experience for you so my apologies….you are too cute so we couldnt resist
Thanks for your time and we would love to talk but if not sorry again and best of luck
A and J”
Remember Messy Eater? He’s baaaaaack!
And now he’s stalking my LinkedIn account!
I opened up my ‘who’s viewed me’ tab to see if I’d gotten any hits after one or two networking events earlier in the week. First person on the list: ME.
Oh hai. You’re a VP now? Nope, still not interested in dating you.