Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a big fan of online dating. But I AM single, and I like to date. I would like to ultimately find a partner. I don’t really meet people in my day to day life, so … online it is. There are definitely good, nice, normal people out there. I have to keep reminding myself of that fact on days when I get messages like this one:
Hello, how are you? I’ll be honest with you, I’m married and looking for a mistress. I use that term loosely but it seems to work. Someone to get to know, talk to, if there is chemistry then see where it goes. If you’re interested in talking and giving a handsome, adulterous man a chance let me know. Might be surprised. Hope to hear from you.
Or this one:
Hi there, you look and sound like a real cutie !! I’d love to hear more about you. I was pretty sure I was going to email you and then I stumbled upon your Q&A question stating that you are extremely ticklish I happen to be an expert Tickler my dear !! I even did research on the healing power of laughter and the ticklish response during my BA in psychology. I’d love to show you first hand (or rather first foot) the wonderful things I learned
Just because tomorrow is a city-wide snow day doesn’t mean I’ll sleep with you. Ugh sometimes guys are the worst.
Why is it that the minute someone becomes slightly unavailable, my interest level skyrockets?
I said I was going to focus on me and what makes me happy… instead I find myself thinking about the past and going over what if’s and if only’s. It’s not healthy, it’s not fun, and it’s not productive. I think I’m finally understanding that no amount of wishing is going to change reality. Sometimes you have to make mistakes, knowing full well they are mistakes, in order to move on.
This was a business school lesson that holds true for life– fail. Learn from your failures. Keep trying and do better. I’ve done a lot of failing in 2013. I’ve also learned a lot. And I guess the only thing left for me to do is to keep on plugging away.
I will admit, I have been known to screen grab some text exchanges with exes, before I delete their info from my phone. Those texts are the modern-day version of love letters. Which is kind of hilarious, and sad, all at the same time. Instead of a beautifully thought-out and written yellowing letter, I have a text from six months ago that reads ‘Whut up’.
The other murky area of modern-day dating is the leftovers. Nowadays, Facebook friending and following each other on various social media sites is de rigeur if you end up dating someone longer than a month or so. What happens when those relationships end? I have some ‘friends’ and I don’t know how to manage my connection with them. Is it creepy to remain friends/cyber stalkers once the relationship is over? Is it a natural progression in today’s interconnected and digital world?
Happy Holidays! Once again I’m entering this holiday season trying to ignore all the engagement/pregnancy/puppy/happiness going on around me as best I can. I’ve decided to take a break from my online dating escapades for a while, after a particularly disappointing outcome with the last guy.
Why is dating so complicated? And why is the progression from meeting to dating to feelings so hard? If you don’t eventually want a relationship but you don’t want a casual hookup, then it is IRRESPONSIBLE to portray yourself as emotionally mature and available, and you don’t belong on a dating site.
OK enough about that. Time to finish out the year focusing on myself and what makes me happy. For right now that means catching up with friends, my fake masking tape fireplace, Doctor Who episodes, and getting back to the gym.
Dating sucks. Yup. That’s pretty much it.
I think I hit publish on my last post too soon. Apparently YP didn’t like my rejecting him.
This is one of many reasons why I really, really don’t like online dating.
*Edit: I had a screenshot of our conversation up, but decided to take it down. If you REALLY MUST KNOW what he wrote to me just let me know.
“YP” messaged me early in the year. His email stood out because he seemed to genuinely want to get to know me as a friend first, and then see if we might be (romantically) compatible later on. It is not the easiest thing in the world to make new friends at this point in my life, so I started emailing with him.
YP pulled a Fade on me. I last heard from him in February of this year. Flash forward to a few days ago, when he popped up out of the blue. Surprise, surprise.
He claimed that he got sick of the site so he never got back to me. Fair enough, except for the fact that OKC allows me to see when other users are active. So — false.
I didn’t bother to respond. Apparently one day of no response was much too long for him because I just got another email tonight: “Soooo???”
My response: “No thank you.”
Sometimes you just have to be straight with these dudes.