Why

… is it that the boy I want to be texting me is silent yet the boy I could care less about has suddenly rediscovered his phone? I mean get it together people.

Awkward

What is it about being with a boy I like– really like– that turns me into a bumbling babbling ridiculous person? I mean, it’s kind of hilarious how horrible the transformation is from put-together well-spoken woman to Ms. Awkward. He says he finds it ‘endearing.’ Let’s hope he continues to think that way…

Dating Files #9

How to woo me with words:

“The dress looks hindi.”

Dating Files #8

When I receive messages that say something along these lines:
“We would like to have some fun with you guys this weekend. We can host. Let us know. “

Who are ‘you guys’? Did I suddenly develop a second head when I wasn’t looking? Or a multiple personality disorder?
And who is ‘we’? There’s only one guy in your profile picture. Is this the royal we?

I’m so confused.

Things that really make me happy…

Last night’s text message saying “can’t wait to see you this weekend”.
Did I mention that this new boy is super cute?

Things that make me happy…

Warm weather
Weekends spent with friends
Live music
Sunshine
Cold beer
Jumping
Watching little kids rock it out
Sleeping in
Crossing things off the to-do list
Third dates with cute boys
Coffee
Inside jokes

Yup

It’s finally happened. At the work beer bash this afternoon one of my co-workers told me he’d seen me last weekend. While I was on a date. Boston why must you be so small???

Luckily my co-worker decided not to come over and say hi, ’cause that would have been pretty awkward.

Missed Connections

Remember that guy I ran into at the sushi place a few weeks ago? The one who said he’d ask me out if I was a little older? Well, I decided to do something I’ve never done before, and I posted a Missed Connection on Craigslist. That’s right, I posted on Craigslist. What is the world coming to???

Anyway, as one might imagine, I have been getting quite the responses. None of which are from the dude in question himself, but it’s totally fine since the amusement value is through the roof. Most of the responses so far have been along the lines of, ‘I’m not the guy you posted about but I’ll take you out’. One guy brazenly asked me where I was going to take HIM out. The best response so far however has come from “R”, who posted the following (emphasis, comments and list formatting all mine, words all his):

Hi!
I read your Craigs List posting. I’m single and I’d like to chat and then meet.

5′ 7′
147 lbs
blue eyes
brown hair

How tall are you? {This question tells me he’s probably not really 5’7. And worried I’d be taller than him, IF I were to actually meet up with him}

I’m:
outgoing
adventurous
romantic
and I’ll make you laugh.

I have:
a business
a house with no mortgage {Oh my}
and a Lexus with a GPS. {Oh, a Lexus… AND a separate GPS??? Sweet sassafras you know just what to say to make a girl feel overheated}

I like going to:
restaurants
movies
museums
comedy shows
casinos
seaport towns
beaches
heated pools
hot tubs
touristy type places
fairs
festivals
and vacations, especially to the Caribbean Islands. {According to one of the pictures he sent me, he also enjoys nude beaches}

If you enjoy these things and fun evenings at home, I’d like to chat with you.
My direct e-mail address is ——@AOL.COM {AOL.com??? Oh no, oh no. You didn’t. Do people still use AOL? Apparently.}

Seriously

I woke up this morning, checked my OKC messages, and then took a look at who had viewed my profile during the night. TO MY HORROR one of my coworkers had taken a look at my profile. Not going to lie, I MAY be slightly traumatized.

Dating Files #4

Telling me that people find you robotic is not really the way to win my heart. I mean, I like robots and all, but I’d prefer to not date one. Also, actually saying to me out of the blue “I swear I don’t have Asperger’s” is not entirely reassuring. Finally, if you don’t like beer or TV then I just don’t know WHAT we can talk about! There go my dreams of having a cute date at home on the couch, cuddled up watching What Would Ryan Lochte Do and playing drinking games.

Hai everyone! I made a new category called “Dating Tips for Dudes”. Be sure to check back for some real gems of wisdom. Dudes, please take note.