Hard-Won Lessons

This is a really lovely Modern Love column that came out last week:

Being a single person searching for love teaches you that not everything is under your control. You can’t control whether the person you’ve fallen for will call. You can’t force yourself to have feelings for the nice guy your best friend fixed you up with. You have no way to know whether attending this or that event — a co-worker’s art opening, a neighbor’s housewarming — will lead to the chance encounter that will forever alter your life. You simply learn to do your best, and leave it at that. Relationships are work, but so is being single.

2013 in review

Love me some stats!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 9,500 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

So I Lied

I said I was going to focus on me and what makes me happy… instead I find myself thinking about the past and going over what if’s and if only’s. It’s not healthy, it’s not fun, and it’s not productive. I think I’m finally understanding that no amount of wishing is going to change reality. Sometimes you have to make mistakes, knowing full well they are mistakes, in order to move on.

This was a business school lesson that holds true for life– fail. Learn from your failures. Keep trying and do better. I’ve done a lot of failing in 2013. I’ve also learned a lot. And I guess the only thing left for me to do is to keep on plugging away.

The internet is ruining my dating life

This: http://thoughtcatalog.com/anna-goldfarb/2013/12/8-ways-the-internet-cell-phones-and-social-media-have-ruined-dating/

I will admit, I have been known to screen grab some text exchanges with exes, before I delete their info from my phone. Those texts are the modern-day version of love letters. Which is kind of hilarious, and sad, all at the same time. Instead of a beautifully thought-out and written yellowing letter, I have a text from six months ago that reads ‘Whut up’.

The other murky area of modern-day dating is the leftovers. Nowadays, Facebook friending and following each other on various social media sites is de rigeur if you end up dating someone longer than a month or so. What happens when those relationships end? I have some ‘friends’ and I don’t know how to manage my connection with them. Is it creepy to remain friends/cyber stalkers once the relationship is over? Is it a natural progression in today’s interconnected and digital world?

Break

Happy Holidays! Once again I’m entering this holiday season trying to ignore all the engagement/pregnancy/puppy/happiness going on around me as best I can. I’ve decided to take a break from my online dating escapades for a while, after a particularly disappointing outcome with the last guy.

Why is dating so complicated? And why is the progression from meeting to dating to feelings so hard? If you don’t eventually want a relationship but you don’t want a casual hookup, then it is IRRESPONSIBLE to portray yourself as emotionally mature and available, and you don’t belong on a dating site.

OK enough about that. Time to finish out the year focusing on myself and what makes me happy. For right now that means catching up with friends, my fake masking tape fireplace, Doctor Who episodes, and getting back to the gym.