I am sitting here and I can feel the tension spreading up my shoulders and snaking its way down my back and ribs. I have been debating long and hard over the merits of applying to business school this fall (for Fall 2009) over waiting until next summer/fall to apply for Fall 2010. It has been a really difficult choice to make, because there a great many pros and cons on both sides. However, over the past few days I have been leaning more towards applying this fall. I don’t know if I am ready or not, but a sudden burst of panic spurred me to really sit down tonight and assess where I am and what I really want to do. By no means do I feel ready for the GMAT, but I think that I can continue to improve. I have been looking into several of the schools that I want to try for, and I think if I go for the second round applications (most are due in early January), then I can pull myself together and have a decent shot at making it. Is this my final decision? I’m not sure yet. But I think it is a step on the path toward one, and writing this down is a second step.
This is extremely scary. I am plagued with a million doubts, most centering around three little numbers which will add up to my score. Will I be ready, am I a viable candidate, will anyone want to admit me? Will I get accepted to a school of my choice? Will I fail miserably and end up trying to forget all this ever happened? Can I get a personal masseuse to come over and take away some of this tension that has taken up permanent residence in my neck and shoulders? I guess I won’t know the answers to any of these questions until I try. So…. perhaps this means I should think about scheduling a test? Argh.