Ways to Piss Me Off

“How long have you been dating?”
“Um, about a month.”
“Well, if you don’t know by now then you should just move on. I knew right away with [husband].”
“…”
Not everyone is so lucky to meet the love of their life early on. So please, don’t judge those of us who haven’t been quite so fortunate. Dating is hard.

“I have this great guy for you! So great. You would be perfect for each other.”
“OK, so set me up.”
“Well, he lives on the other side of the country. But you could totally move.”
“But I don’t want to move.”
“It would be worth it! He’s SUCH a nice guy!”
“That’s usually code for ‘he’s ugly.’ But you wouldn’t set me up with an ugly guy, would you?”
“Um, well, no. He’s not really attractive. But you would make such a great couple!”
“…”
I am 100% on board with the concept that looks aren’t everything. But, there has to be SOME level of attraction. And when you try to set me up with an ass-ugly nice guy, it’s going to make me feel kind of like shit. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

“I have this great guy for you! So great. You would be perfect for each other.”
“OK, so set me up.”
“For sure! Totally! Um… I’ll get back to you on that.”
Listen, the dating pool in Boston is SMALL. If you know someone that is single, then SET ME UP. But don’t waste my time by telling me about someone and then never actually following through. A. It makes me feel like you don’t really care if I find anyone (I’m so happy for you that you’re in a great relationship, by the way. So happy). B. It makes me feel like you think your other friend is better than me (again, thanks for your vote of confidence.)

“Don’t limit your options. You should date as many guys as possible.”
“OK, well, you DO realize that there isn’t this line of guys just waiting for me to plan dates with, right?”
“I’m just saying you should keep seeing other people until you find THE ONE.”
“And I’M just saying that sometimes it takes months or even years to find dates. Finding THE ONE isn’t even part of the equation at this point.”
If you’ve never really dated, then forgive me if I don’t take your advice that seriously. Dating is HARD and TIME-INTENSIVE. It can be difficult for people to realize how depressing it gets when you think about how much time you have to put in for miniscule results.

Each first date that I go on is the culmination of about 35 hours worth of work. Over the past 2 years, only 18% of the first dates that I’ve gone on have resulted in a second date. If you want to throw in a third date, that number drops to 9%.

Let me repeat. DATING IS HARD. So a little less judgment would be awesome. Thanks.

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