The Point of No Return
I am very lucky in that my current apartment has four (count ’em, four!) closets that I have all to myself for storage and clothing. So it should come as no surprise that each and every one of them is bursting at the seams. OBVIOUSLY!
I went through them a week or two ago and culled out some of the clothes that are too big for me or that I no longer wear. I ended up with a giant tupperware-full. My closet now consists primarily of shirts, dresses, skirts and pants that are S, XS, size 4 and 6. Shirts that were tight on me a year or two ago are now super baggy.
It’s hard to explain how mind-blowing this is. I’m not used to thinking about myself as a tiny person. (Short, yes. Tiny, no). But I love it. I’m not at the finish line yet, but it’s in sight and I know how to get there. I realize that reaching my weight loss goals won’t mean that I magically transform into some perfect version of myself. In fact, that’s the last word I’d ever use to describe myself.
I also realize that holding on to larger-size clothing is related to a subconscious fear that I might (for lack of a better word) regress and need them again one day. Here’s the thing– I’m NOT on a diet. I’m not taking some gross pre-made food or shakes. I’m not attending a weight-loss center. I’m not counting points or calories. I’m not denying myself booze or chocolate or bread. I AM exercising. I AM changing what I eat and how I think about food. This is a lifestyle change. And as such, I’m not going to keep this clothing safety net around, so Goodwill– you’re going to be getting a huge donation soon. Enjoy.