Why is it that the minute someone becomes slightly unavailable, my interest level skyrockets?
This is a really lovely Modern Love column that came out last week:
Being a single person searching for love teaches you that not everything is under your control. You can’t control whether the person you’ve fallen for will call. You can’t force yourself to have feelings for the nice guy your best friend fixed you up with. You have no way to know whether attending this or that event — a co-worker’s art opening, a neighbor’s housewarming — will lead to the chance encounter that will forever alter your life. You simply learn to do your best, and leave it at that. Relationships are work, but so is being single.
I said I was going to focus on me and what makes me happy… instead I find myself thinking about the past and going over what if’s and if only’s. It’s not healthy, it’s not fun, and it’s not productive. I think I’m finally understanding that no amount of wishing is going to change reality. Sometimes you have to make mistakes, knowing full well they are mistakes, in order to move on.
This was a business school lesson that holds true for life– fail. Learn from your failures. Keep trying and do better. I’ve done a lot of failing in 2013. I’ve also learned a lot. And I guess the only thing left for me to do is to keep on plugging away.
I will admit, I have been known to screen grab some text exchanges with exes, before I delete their info from my phone. Those texts are the modern-day version of love letters. Which is kind of hilarious, and sad, all at the same time. Instead of a beautifully thought-out and written yellowing letter, I have a text from six months ago that reads ‘Whut up’.
The other murky area of modern-day dating is the leftovers. Nowadays, Facebook friending and following each other on various social media sites is de rigeur if you end up dating someone longer than a month or so. What happens when those relationships end? I have some ‘friends’ and I don’t know how to manage my connection with them. Is it creepy to remain friends/cyber stalkers once the relationship is over? Is it a natural progression in today’s interconnected and digital world?
A gem from 1938… I’m definitely guilty of doing some of these things! Dating has come a long way in the last 70 years– for better or for worse. I do find it interesting how this gives us a glimpse into what the male and female roles were back then.
This article has some good things to remember when dating:
I particularly like the ones about complimenting others as well as yourself, and choosing wisely. Be self-confident in who you are, and don’t be shy about telling the person you’re dating why you like them. And don’t, DON’T, get caught up in dating someone you really don’t like all that much. It’s a lot easier than you might think.
Dating Tips for Dudes:
If you’re going to wimp out and continually cancel on our dates at the last minute, at least come up with a good excuse. Texting me that you are upset after a phone call with your mom doesn’t exactly make me want to give you yet another shot. Here are some acceptable excuse alternatives:
*You fell down a manhole
*You came down with bird flu
*You had to take your roommate to the hospital
*You had to take your dog to the vet
*You were struck by amnesia and you’re not sure who I am
*You had to rescue a kitten from a tree
*You’ve been kidnapped and you’re texting me from the trunk of a car
Come on dudes, at least be a little creative when you blow me off.