Groans Category


Being depressed in the summertime is way worse than being depressed in the winter. You’re expected to be happy and cheerful in the summer. In the winter you can always blame your feelings on the weather, on your cold, on the long dark days… in the summer there are no excuses.

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OK. Yes. There is a ton of snow. In fact, it just won’t stop snowing. Shoes? What are those? I only wear boots. I can barely remember a time when I actually left my apartment and went to work on a Monday morning. But, I kind of like this crazy weather! Why? People actually talk to […]

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Dating Files #23

Remember Benjamin From The Internet? He’s back!   I will admit to being slightly perturbed that OKC thinks this is ‘one of the best messages’ I’ve ever received. Do they know that we are already together?! Or that this guy is a TOTAL weirdo?! EDIT: Also… Wakefield…? Ugh.

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Dating Files #22

“Benjamin from the Internet” (his words, not mine) sent me this enticing note. Good bye, singlehood!  

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Happy Holidays! Once again I’m entering this holiday season trying to ignore all the engagement/pregnancy/puppy/happiness going on around me as best I can. I’ve decided to take a break from my online dating escapades for a while, after a particularly disappointing outcome with the last guy. Why is dating so complicated? And why is the […]

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Well Hello There Pt 2

The dangers of gchat-ing with someone before actually meeting up is that sometimes a random guy will email you a picture. You’ll be confused because said picture was on his dating website profile, and you’ve already seen it. So he says he’s going to email you another picture, but you suspect it’s going to be […]

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Well Hello There

The dangers of texting with someone before actually meeting up is that sometimes when you leave your phone on silent overnight, you wake up to not 1, not 2, but 10 text messages– one of which is a picture of a random dude’s junk. Yes. His JUNK. Well hello there. How about some abs or […]

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I woke up this morning, checked my OKC messages, and then took a look at who had viewed my profile during the night. TO MY HORROR one of my coworkers had taken a look at my profile. Not going to lie, I MAY be slightly traumatized.

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Tales From the Mixed-Up Dating Files

XXX ‘stalked’ my online profile for several days. His profile picture showcased a dim photo of a guy with a large hat on and no shirt. Finally he mustered up the courage to send me an email. Here it is, recreated in its entirety: “T”

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Um, Yeah

Some dude just sent me a note on the online dating site I frequent. It read: “I want to cuddle the fuck out of you.” Um. Yeah. I don’t even… … I mean Just, no.

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